“The jealous are troublesome to others, but a torment to themselves.”
1. suspicion, distrust, mistrust, possessiveness, doubt, spite, resentment, wariness, ill-will, dubiety example: At first his jealousy only showed in small ways – he didn’t mind me talking to other guys.
2. envy, resentment, resentfulness, enviousness, spite, hatred, malice, ill will, covetousness, malignity, the green-eyed monster (informal) Her beauty causes jealousy.
Jealousy is a feeling of resentment, anger or outrage over an alleged injustice done in a relationship.
Jealousy can also come out as a feeling of envy or inferiority.
What causes Jealousy?
Insecurity in relationships causes jealousy, which is often accompanied with feelings of anger and inferiority. Jealousy may also stem from envy of others because of their abilities, material possessions, or popularity among peers.
Envy escalated is Jealousy! Well we’ve all encountered at some point in our lives someone who may be envious of us but when you have someone who is jealous of you it can border on detriment.
Someone who is jealous of you does not want you to have the possession, position, ability or person that you have nor to share it with anyone else.
Here we see two of the most well known Super Models contending with that ol monster JEALOUSY! Jealousy in the workplace is difficult to handle but can be won by simply making a choice to confront it. Confronting it strips it’s power away from causing more havoc on both parties and possibly to an entire work project.
What I find really interesting in this interview/chat with Tyra and Naomi, is how Tyra is about getting healing and Naomi is still in a state of denial. That usually comes when jealousy escalates to bullying. And in this case her “bullying” was trying to make Tyra fear her, being manipulative in situations, and even sabotaging her from employment!!
But the truth is Tyra was the bigger person in this story. And in the end though Naomi is still a Super Model and always will be because she was groundbreaking. Yet Tyra’s name and body of work still surpasses Naomi’s in a whole other way…Tyra is becoming a multimedia mogul!!!!!
What do you think the best way to handle jealousy in the workplace is?
Tyra listed these as the 7 Deadly Sins against Sisterhood
MY TRUE ON SET STORIES:
I was called to work on a TV Pilot project being shot in New York while I was working on another project being shot in Florida. The NY project needed me to come in right away but I’d already been committed to the project I was on in Florida.
The NY TV project required a Unionized Department Head (that would’ve been me). They needed me to come and prep the project and break down the script. I told them I would commit to the project for sure but I’m not going to be able to prep (shopping and meetings with crew) the job while I was in Florida. However, as a solution, I would be able to break down the script scene by scene so whomever my Key would be could shop appropriately for each characters Makeup as I’d broken it down.
They agreed and locked me into a contract and agreed that I was on the project as officially the Department Head upon my return from Florida. However the project in Florida ran a bit over the time I was to be there so, in my absence the production company would have the young lady who was to be my Key become Department Head and move forward to prep the job. Now I would be the Key Makeup Artist and we’d have a Day Playing Makeup Assistant.
The young lady they chose for the project was not in the Union as a registered Makeup Artist. But in order to have the project go up without a glitch they would use my Union Status to move forward with the project in the Makeup Department even though now I was the Key Makeup Artist. And from this she would get her Union hours to join and then she would eventually get into the Union (MANIPULATION).
I agreed not knowing all this was going on. But in truth who cares we were both getting the same salary!! Anyway, when I came in it turns out it was an old acquaintance colleague, who I would later find out had held a grudge against me for years. So now we would now be working side by side, she as the Department Head and myself as her assisting Key Makeup Artist.
Well, on this picture I’d known several of the actors. And other actors had known of me by reputation and wanted to work with me. This picture would now be that opportunity for us to work together. While in the trailer on our first day I’d spoken to the other Artist about how she wanted to work the project since she’d not called me while I was in Florida to execute our work strategy (truth be told she was clueless, still didn’t know how to break down the script and had a deplorably unkempt kit that the actors would wind up complaining to production about).
I chose to be gracious though I’d fast seen there was an invisible wall put up by her. At first I couldn’t figure it out but further in conversation I found out, she was intimidated by my presence and by the fact that the players and even production had worked with me before.
Yet again I remained gracious to her and remained respectful of our positions on the project.
So now, still being gracious, I found myself left in the trailer 3 days in a row!!!! From call time to wrap time doing absolutely nothing and with no instructions(mind you everyone on set saw this happening Actors, Producers and even PA’s).
I’d ask her if she wanted me to do anything, like cover her on set since there were several female players in the scene plus the lead actress, to helping her with her continuity book. She clearly stated she did NOT WANT MY HELP!! Her grudge against me was bigger than obvious productivity!!
On the second week of the project come Monday morning I was still in the trailer doing absolutely nothing (mind you still getting paid)!!! I was frustrated and embarrassed not just for myself but for her! Truth be told I wanted to walk off the project, give her one good backhanded slap and punch her in the face!!! But,…I would not give her the satisfaction of me lowering my personal standards of excellent behavior to meet her lack of experience and ignorance.
So, this day the lead actress (who’d wanted to work with me for a long time and whom I’d had many conversations by phone and at various events) came in the trailer and asked me after a week of me being stationed by the Department Head to stay in the trailer.
She said “NZINGHA, are you really just NOT gonna do makeup on this job? Are you serious?! What’s up with that for real?!” All of this happened in front of the Department Head…so, I answered her “My dear its nothing personal but I’m not the Department Head on this project she is and I am the Key Makeup Artist on this project, therefore I am getting my directives from her. And so far I have not been given further instructions. I’d love to do your makeup but I’m following the Department Heads lead.”
The actress then says “So, let me get this straight, you are not allowed to do my makeup or anyone else’s on this set, you are not to even come on set to help with touch ups but you are to just sit here in this trailer?! For real?!?! Where do they do that?! That’s some BS!! What’s going on in here I wanna know right now?! Cause you are an amazing Artist!! What’s really going on?!”
I said to the actress “I’ll leave that answer to the Department Head.” And the actress and I both looked at her for the answer. Then the actress said to her “WELL?!”.
The DH began to speak, slowly and confessed her grudge towards me. It had been age old on some misinformation shed received. Not realizing in that previous work experience where she was my assistant, I’d covered her back. She’d also mentioned following my career asking producers who’d worked with me what my rates were. Basically makeup stalking me!
“Love your haters – they’re your biggest fans”
On that other project, I covered her!!! I covered her, when in truth she should’ve been drop kicked by me!!! I was gracious to her!!!! The truth was the production on the other job, did drop kick her AND kick her to the curb! WHY? Because she had a bad attitude, a filthy kit and they didn’t want to pay her NOR DID THEY PAY HER !!!
She was my assistant on that job and I wound up coming out of my own pocket to pay her for the job, since the production company didn’t pay her. In fact they’d said they would NEVER HIRE HER AGAIN!!! I asked why and they gave me a list of reasons. I was embarrassed because I’d worked on many projects with them and my reputation would be at stake for this one project that I placed her on! REALLY?!
Now all of this dialogue is happening at the actresses request in front of her as awkward as it was she became the voice of reason to this DH. She told her “You are looking like a fool honey and everybody on set is talking about it!! You need to let Nzingha do her job!! If she is hired to assist you then you need to let her do it! The Exec Producers are watching what’s been going down and you’re the one looking bad not Nzingha cause they’ve worked with her before! And, not only that but I was under the impression that she was the DH!!!”
Well, I won’t go any further but, all I can say is we talked it out I had to put a bug in her ear Woman to Woman. “This is not the only project in the world and you never know who you will come across again in life…BE CAREFUL HOW YOU TREAT OTHER PEOPLE! Because someone’s always watching and taking notes.”
Afterwards even the Producers had to speak to her. She finally had me work on one of the actors and come on set (Turns out the lead actor she didn’t want to do. Why? Because shed deemed him as “difficult”. Turns out he wanted me for a previous project he’d worked on and I’d been out of the country and couldn’t work that film) . The Producers and Director apologized to me for her behaviour! Imagine that!?!,? They’d said they knew it wasn’t me that was causing the disturbance.
True Story #2
Sometimes those that are Jealous come in many forms…CONTROLLING, MANIPULATING, IGNORING, GOSSIPING, LISTENING TO GOSSIP, BULLYING, LYING, WANTING TO BELIEVE LIES, SABOTAGING and more.
Wel,…l lets say all of the above were in effect on this one project. In a nutshell, I was a first hire before anyone was hired in the Makeup Department. I had a strong presentation for the director and was immediately hired! He then hired a more seasoned Makeup Artist to Department Head (30+ years) she then hired her Key Makeup Artist and I would be the Assisting Key Makeup Artist.
Well, here we go again the Key was instantly intimidated by me. As we moved further into the project she began saying nasty little things as I would enter a room, then it escalated to being behind my back to others, then finally to the Department Head. The DH wanted to believe her because they’d had established a working relationship long before this project. Unfortunately the DH didn’t know her girl was 5150 (police code for certifiably crazy).
One afternoon on the set shed said something nasty and I heard it and she didn’t care that she was loud, my first inclination was to “Go NZINGHA 85 (1985)” on her and give her a “West Indian Bronx Beatdown” because she surely deserved it at this point.
Everyone on set seemed to wanted to believe her garbage about me. It was truly the grace of GOD defending me on that set. I felt alone and ganged up on, defenceless because shed set me up several times. And no one wanted to hear my side or believe me. She’d gotten to the point that she was trying to get me fired! She did everything she could from blatant manipulation to Makeup Sabotage!!
I’m not going to go further into the chaos she caused on that set but she showed her bottom one last go round on another project that that same DH hired her on and at that point she got even crazier and from what I understood tried to sabotage and get her boss fired so she could be elevated as DH for that show!!! IMAGINE THE NERVE!!!
Well divine justice came out of that incident her ugly masked cover was blown and she had a divine “Casey Hayenes Body Slam”!!! BOOM FLAT ON HER FACE!!!
Casey Hayenes | Bullied No More
Yes we recognize as compassionate people that bullies have been themselves bullied in their past and like a Stockholm Syndrome they become repeat offenders until it all comes to a screeching halt!! And the truth is revealed that you’re really scared you wont ever work again. and you know what you’re right!!! The lesson learned here is you can seem like you’re getting away with foolishness for a while but ultimately you will be confronted! And everything that’s hidden in darkness will come to the light in time.
And if the deed is inexcusable not only will you get “body slammed” but NO ONE will feel sorry for you…the jealous, tragic, insecure, bully.
Richard Gayle | No more being Bullied or Bullying
How to deal with “Grown Up” Mean girls featured in Filler Magazine